I couldn’t breathe. I had to get out of the car.
“Last night Drew and Chloe made out,” Bridget said.
Immediately images of my boyfriend cheating on me flooded my mind. I was drenched in the pain of betrayal, and couldn’t seem to escape.
Tears flowed as I cried out, “I have to see him. He needs to know how much this hurts so he doesn’t do it to someone else. No girl deserves to feel this way.”
Exactly 10 years ago today I was a heartbroken 16-year-old standing in the park on a cloudy day with two of my closest friends, thinking this dramatic scene from a movie could not possibly be happening to me.
It’s funny how 10 years have passed, and I can still remember that searing pain so vividly, yet the hurt from that day disappeared so long ago.
That day was a dark day in my life, but I can see how God took something terrible and turned it into something I thank him for. Many times over the years I have said, “I thank God I was cheated on, because it caused me to fall in love with his Word.”
The week following our break-up, I was in so much pain I couldn’t eat, and I certainly couldn’t focus on my schoolwork. So I opened my Bible, and it came to life. This huge book that had always seemed so irrelevant finally became relevant, nourishing and healing.
According to God’s perfect plan, Drew is the last guy I dated. Yes, you read that right. I haven’t dated anyone in a decade.
I think if that crying girl in the park 10 years ago knew she wasn’t going to have a boyfriend again for over 10 years, she probably would have cried even harder! Haha I’m sorry, I have to laugh at that because I know it’s true.
Back then, I think I felt a real desire to be cherished by my “prince charming.” I had no idea how cherished I already was by my Prince of Peace.
Romans 5:8 says, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
My relationship with Drew was a pretty typical high school relationship: short-lived, dumb and filled with mistakes. If there’s a time in my life I’m most ashamed of, it’s definitely how I behaved while I was dating Drew.
I love Romans 5:8 because it reveals that Jesus did not just die for me on my best day, but on my very worst day, Jesus loved that 16-year-old girl enough to die in her place. There is nothing in my life that is too dark for Jesus to rescue me from.
One memory I really treasure from 10 years ago today is when my dad came to pick me up from my boyfriend’s hometown that was over an hour’s drive away. My face was red with tears and black with mascara as I got into my dad’s truck and he drove me back home.
I can’t imagine how much hurt and frustration my dad felt that whole drive, but for me, I saw a beautiful picture of what my Heavenly Father does for me. When I call, he answers. In the middle of my mess, my Abba Father rushes in to rescue me.
I could write forever about the lessons I have learned over the past 10 years of entrusting my heart to our Creator God to watch over, guard and protect. Maybe one day I will write more, but for today, I felt I should share this small part of my story to hopefully encourage someone with a broken heart.
The past 10 years have been some of the very best. They have flown by as God has held me by the hand leading me through this incredible adventure we call eternal life with him.
I am more in love with God today than ever before. He has restored my purity entirely – in fact, I feel more pure now than when he saved me at 7 years old, because I value my purity so much more than I did then.
It’s been 10 years since I’ve held a guy’s hand or kissed a guy, but purity runs so much deeper than romantic relationships.
I love how 2 Timothy 2:21 says, “If you keep yourself pure, you will be a special utensil for honorable use. Your life will be clean, and you will be ready for the Master to use you for every good work.”
Each time I open my Bible, God purifies me by his Word. Each morning and night I steal away to spend set apart time with my Maker, God makes me ready to be used for his very best works!
I encounter a lot of people who think because I’m nearly 27, haven’t dated in 10 years, and have no romantic relationship on the horizon, my life is somehow incomplete. I understand how they might think that because I probably would have thought the same thing 10 years ago.
But I’m here today to say that my life is hidden with Christ and I can boldly declare all my soul’s desires are found completely in him. Jesus is the satisfaction. Jesus is the way, the truth and the life. Jesus is better.
If that’s all you read today, I pray you read that and believe it. There is no one like Jesus. I have nothing against dating and marriage, in fact, I am probably more open to the possibility now than ever before. But I don’t think I was created to date and get married. I believe I was created to shine the glory of God.
If I meet a man along the way who, together, we shine brighter for God than we do apart, then by all means, let’s date and get married. I want to bring out the very best in someone, and I want him to do the same for me. I want to inspire someone to love God more, and I want him to do the same for me. So far, that hasn’t happened. So I’m going to keep on chasing after Jesus – my Greatest Love who is entirely faithful and leads me along the very best pathway in life!
I am no superhero of the single life, I’m just a girl falling more in love with my Prince of Peace each day, and I pray my little story can encourage you today to press on and do the same. I promise you won’t be disappointed!
*The names of my high school friends and boyfriend have been changed for obvious reasons
[[ I’ve never been a fan of posts about marriage and dating, but I really felt led to take a risk with my reputation and share this so even one person might be encouraged like I’m encouraged by Psalm 73:25-26, “Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever.” I believe in sharing the hardest parts of my story for God’s greater glory, so if you want to talk with me more about anything I shared in this post, please feel free to reach out. Most of all, I pray you cry out to God for rescue, and thank him for his enduring love that knows no bounds. ]]