The BFF Standard

God woke me up this morning with a new perspective on friendship. I was feeling down about letting go of faded friendships when, as usual, Jesus met me with the sort of hope that gets my heart racing.

I know it is impossible to be best friends with 25 different people at once, but that does not stop me from trying. I have such a difficult time letting friendships fade with the change of life’s seasons.

From kindergarten to today, I have always been anxious to deem someone my “best friend.” I felt that if I did not have a best friend, I was a lesser model of what a normal person should be. Culture has lorded this best friend standard over me my whole life – a standard I have never truly reached. I felt deficient because I never had that enduring BFF every normal person supposedly should have.

I remember as early as elementary school being taught that it is better to have a few close friends than several acquaintances. This valuable lesson was drilled into me as long and hard as the “money can’t buy happiness” lesson.

But who is to say those few close friends have to be the same BFFLs? Translation: can my few close friends change over time, or must my best friends remain my only best friends for life?

My sophomore year in college I was thrilled at every chance I got to talk with my BFF Whitney about getting our own apartment off campus our junior year. Finally, I had found my real best friend and future roommate to boot! That enduring cultural standard of normality was finally within reach.

But God intervened. Not only did he send me to another university my junior year, but even further, another country! What about my plans?

Whitney and I often joke about how little time God lets us spend together. We laugh knowing we will get to chat it up for eternity, so for now, we will cherish whatever little bits of time together God gives us this side of heaven.

What if the multitude of fading and sprouting friendships in my life are not a burden, but a blessing? What if God is affording me the opportunity to meet even more of his children around the globe in this day, so I can spend the utmost quality time in heavenly worship with them someday?

God woke me up this morning with a new perspective on friendship. My closest friendships are those built on the shared foundation of Jesus Christ, who lives in us.

If all I have in this life is what I can see, I should hold onto those fading friendships for dear life. But I have something more, and for my friends who belong to Jesus, they do too. We have an eternal coffee date in the presence of our Savior.

Friends, let us make the most of the time God gives us here on earth, but let us not find ourselves tightening our grip on the wrong relationship. Jesus wants to be our BFFAE (best friend forever and ever), and honestly, he is the only one entirely able to fill that esteemed role.


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