Drowning

I feel as though I am drowning in ocean waters, desperate to propel myself to the surface so I can finally breathe in the air I long for – the air I need to survive.

Just as I find my fear that enables me to thrash myself out of the deep, someone grabs my hand and says, “Come with me. We are not finished here yet. I want to take you deeper. There is more I want to show you, treasures hidden beneath the ocean floor. I know your needs long before you do. Do you trust me?”

Engulfed in panic, I hear him. Lost in thoughts of abandonment, I feel him. Suffocating in insecurity, I cry out to him.

My Rescue holds me by the hand as he takes me deeper for the glory of his name, and ultimately, for my good.

I have walked through situations God has used to fashion my faith and strengthen my character, but never like this.

When I was 13, my 17-year-old cousin, Tiffany, died in a car crash.

When I was 17, my boyfriend cheated on me.

When I was 18, God called me to surrender my dreams and my future to him by committing to serve him in ministry.

When I was 20, God commanded me to leave my comfort zone of Texas A&M University, and follow him into the unknown, which later became Baylor University.

When I was 21, God sent me on a plane all by myself to serve him alongside strangers in South Africa for five months.

This year, at 23, God has challenged me with how I spend my days as I open up a whole new world of possibility. He is positioning me to forsake all else as I cling to him, and him only.

After applying for 50 jobs, and getting the same negative response or none whatsoever, I can honestly say nothing has strengthened me and my hope in Jesus like this.

I am tempted to rush to the surface of self-security, but I know the Lord wants to take me deeper. There is more he wants to show me, treasures hidden beneath the ocean floor of fear and self-doubt we still need to uncover. My Creator is also my Sustainer – he knows my needs long before I do. He is asking me to trust him, and all I can say in the midst of the waters is, “I do.”

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4 thoughts on “Drowning

  1. colinlindley says:

    I really love your writing style, but your content is even better! Have you ever read Gospel Deeps by Jared Wilson? If not, I highly recommend it. That was the first thing that came to mind after reading this.

    Like

  2. Nicholas Ross says:

    Really enjoyed reading this Meghan!!! Do u remember in our 5th grade graduation we did an “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” skit/musical? HAHAHAHA just thought about that. Wow that was so long ago…. Time Flies!!! I miss you and I hope u continue ur writing. I have actually become something of a writer myself. I’ve been working on a book for the past two years. Sci-fi. That and an autobiography piece on the memoirs of my life.

    Like

    • Meghan Hendrickson says:

      Nick, it is so great to hear from you after all these years. Thank you for taking the time to read my writing and I appreciate the encouragement. Props on the two books! Just two weeks ago I decided I should begin writing my first one, so I know how intimidating that journey can look. I hope God used these words he put on my heart to draw you nearer to him. And of course I remember singing at our 5th grade graduation. That was entertaining to say the least. Those were the days when I had yet to discover what “stage fright” felt like.

      Like

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