Back to the Start

I thought I was closer than ever and yet here I am, falling back to the start, falling back to your arms.

Why does life ride like a roller coaster? Because no matter how much you open my eyes to your love, sin never loses its appeal.

My God, the very Spirit of God lives within me. But that is just it: He lives within me.

Though I am being made righteous each morning, my days are filled with shortcomings.

I cannot do it. I cannot win this ongoing fight alone.

I run along beaches of grace only to find myself treading deep waters of temptation.

God, I know what I desire: it’s not good for me and it’s not good for others.

But God, I know what you desire is good for me and it is good for others.

I cannot do this alone. The battle wages through the dusk and into the dawn.

I have lost sight of my Maker. I have disregarded my Foundation.

And here I am.

Back to the start. Back to your arms.

Father, pick me up and carry me through the night. For tomorrow is a new day and I am precious in your sight.


5 thoughts on “Back to the Start

  1. Melissa Holle says:

    Reminds me of Paul in Romans 7. Reminds me of me too. “What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? THANKS BE TO GOD, WHO DELIVERS ME THROUGH JESUS CHRIST OUR LORD!” I will be praying for you today. I’ll be packing/moving all day. Call me if you want to talk. Love you sweet girl.


    • Meghan Hendrickson says:

      Thank you so much for consistently being there for me from the moment we met Melissa. You are a blessing in my life. When I wrote this I was burdened with sin, but freed by the joy of confession, forgiveness and repentance. No matter how painful the truth may be sometimes, I cherish the moments when God reveals the sin in my life because He sends me straight back to His arms in surrender. Though I will never achieve it, I hope my life looks more like that each day.


  2. Mark Weisbruch says:

    Hey Meghan!

    Here’s the praise and worship song I wrote in inspiration to this! Thank you for sharing it with me… I haven’t come up for a name for it yet, so I have it titled simply as Meghan’s song. Lol

    Meghan’s Song

    G C
    This is not my story
    This is not the way I saw
    This is no great revelation
    Mine are empty hands that sought.

    There are mountains that I’m facing
    Agony in every word
    Though I’m weeping, you amaze me
    You are all I should have heard

    Am c g
    So if you feel the way I feel
    And the tears are just to real to bare

    Am c
    Look to the sky
    God is by our side!

    Life your hands
    And shout His name
    Or King is glorified
    Christ has saved
    Lift me up
    Above my shame
    To stand triumphant
    In your grace
    Am C
    And we pray…
    Alleluia (G)

    G C
    I am drowning in temptation
    Test me not before the dawn
    Do not let me fall to Satan
    Christ redeemer be my God!

    G C
    Though I’m weak and feeling lonely
    You have struggled with this too
    Let the friends around me mock me
    Help me lift my hands to you!

    Am C
    And look to the sky
    Am C
    God is by our side

    Lift our hands
    And shout Your praise
    Our King of Glory 
    And Saving Grace
    Christ’s alive
    In you and me
    We stand in triumphant

    All you saints
     on earth with me
    Lift your voice to
    Christ the King
    Though mountains fall
    And seas will roar
    We know though it all
    That his love endures!

    Am C
    And we pray…

    G C


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